Life of the Damned: The Demon Who Wished to Become Human
by Melkor44
Summary: The story of Tobei... A tale of darkness, of misery and misfortune. A one-shot set directly after the final events of chapter 68, and what I feel the ending should have been. "...maybe the Togari didn't exclusively feed from hatred, whose color was the deepest black? His power now felt red, but not an angry one. More like a soothing one...that Togari poured itself out for."


**Yes, I know, I should be working on Reign in Blood. But I just finished the _Togari_ manga series, long overdue I might add, and I thought that the ending needed to be different. This takes place directly after the manga ends, and I'm sorry if the beginning is bad; I started this at three in the morning, but I'm still pretty sure it's a solid piece. Word count without this AN is 4130 exactly... So, what are you waiting for? Get to reading!  
**

**Life of the Damned: The Demon Who Wished to Become A Man  
**

"Give me…" Tobei hissed, his expression growing more fearsome by the instant. "_All your sins._"

Sena kept his composure, and ordered the newly-minted user of the 'false darkness' to attack his enemy. "Show me your power, man. Let the power of the darkness become your own…" It would prove to be a futile effort, however, and Sena knew this—the man's sole purpose was to slow Tobei down, even if only a little.

"You're a rat bastard, you know that? You wouldn't have survived like I did, all those years ago… Three hundred years ago, in the Edo period. My very existence was a sin, brought on by some demon who must have cursed humanity with his dying breath. I killed my first man at the age of six, and I was beheaded ten years later; for three hundred years, I served a penance of pain and punishment in hell…"

"Why are you telling me this, Tobei? We both know that words mean nothing to you, only to me."

"I'm telling you… Well, it's because you're almost like I was. Words mean nothing to a dead man, and the dead only speak to those who are soon to join them…"

The tribal markings of the Togari slowly crawled up Tobei's arm, and his eyes changed last amongst his features; he was no longer Tobei, a teenager escaped from hell to attempt saving himself—he was now Tobei, the mass-murderer of the late 1600s who butchered thousands without remorse or acknowledgement. He was the messenger of death, come with a demon's will and a madman's eyes… The boy whose mere existence had caused grief wherever he stepped.

Sena, despite this, remained calm. "What can you do, Tobei? Show me your true power, the heart of your strength. Show me your darkness. Join me, and rule this world unchallenged!"

Brutal laughter filled the arena's steps, and Tobei had to keep himself from falling over. "Join you? I thought that defeating the vast majority of your special little fucks would have been enough of a refusal by this point, but I guess not. Take a good look at my face, dumbass, because it's the last damn thing you're ever gonna see in this world. Me, I'd rather see Itsuki for a finale, but that can't happen—she can't know the truth, that I was a manslayer in Edo who had to steal the name Tobei because I didn't even have my own."

He slashed, and struck true; the summoned 'false darkness,' however, reformed itself and fought back. Tobei, however, was having a much easier time against it than before; united with the Togari blade, here was where he would truly gain its power. On the battlefield, now, he would master the accursed Sword of Justice once and for all. He would be vengeance, for all those who died by his hand and more. "But there's one thing I learned about the Togari when I fought and devoured it: it responds to hate, and feeds off of hate, but it reacts even more strongly to sheer willpower! Now, Sena, _**give me all your crimes so that I can repent my own!**_"

This was it, the final Toga he had to slay. But now, even after his great speech, he could do next to nothing… Why? Why did the sword hold back from him, even after he'd been controlling the Togari for so long?

And that was when her face came to his mind. _'Itsuki…'_ Was it because of her that the sword could no longer draw upon its power? He stood, knowing that his mirror of 'false darkness' would do the same. _'No, that's not it. Before, my catchphrase was that I didn't take orders from anybody—that I'd do things on my own will, my own power. But…'_ His eyes widened in shock at the realization. He, Tobei was someone who never took orders from anyone. And yet, when Osse had given him all of the possible outcomes to his fate, he'd just backed down and… Accepted them.

No, that wouldn't be how it worked! _'Even if it's just to see Itsuki's face one more time, hear her voice one more time, I won't allow myself to be dragged away like the criminal I am! I am Tobei, the Demon of Edo, and I REFUSE TO FOLLOW ANYONE'S ORDERS BUT MY OWN!'_

His swing was sudden, and he felt his power surge. But it wasn't the same power as before; maybe the Togari didn't exclusively feed from hatred, whose color was the deepest black? His power now felt red, but not an angry one. More like a soothing one, a pleasant one, one that Togari poured itself out for.

Tobei didn't realize it, as he'd never learned the concept of it—even in theory, in any of the places he'd gone, because it had never been shown to him—but the red power he was using now, calmer and gentler than anger, was something that he never could have understood: love. It was not love for life, or an ideal, or the world, but it was love. Not for himself, and not for anyone else save for one… He found its source, deep in his criminal heart, at the very essence of his being, and did not know that it was his love for Itsuki that he allowed to spread through him like wildfire.

"What's the matter, Tobei? I understand perhaps trying to focus, but this seems rather out of character for you… If you aren't going to fight seriously, then you can just go back to he—"

A single slash was visible on Sena's clothing, and only because blood leaked from it; of those assembled, only Tobei and Amy were able to actually see just how fast he'd moved. _**"I am Tobei, the Demon Without a Heart, the Demon who Wanted to Become Human. And humans… We're disgusting creatures, really, though not quite as bad as the Toga. Speaking of which!"**_

Tobei turned the Togari backwards, and the Toga impaled itself upon his blade. It had acted on its own, for once, attempting to save its master from death. But it had underestimated Tobei, and had slain itself… It crumbled, and vanished, and a look of shock came over the faces of all who were in attendance. Amy was simply amazed that Tobei had managed to win the game to collect a hundred and eight souls in as many days—with more than two months left, in fact!

Osse was floored for the same reason, though his was more of a fearful wonderment than anything else—Tobei had done that so easily… What if the might of the Other Worlds couldn't stand up against this new, super-powerful, sin-slaying Tobei? With that boy's luck, the devil's own, he might even manage to survive… And even, dare Osse think it, win?

Yes, it seemed impossible, but another man—long ago, before Tobei's original time on earth—had managed to do just that. But he hadn't possessed the Togari… Rather, it had been Gae Bolg, the Gut Spear, and Daoc, the Sword of Vengeance, that the man had used. If Tobei could follow in Cuchulainn's footsteps, which he was currently doing a damn good job of, he could theoretically escape the human cycle of death and rebirth.

Sena was terrified, now. He understood that there was no way for him to escape, no way to get away from this… He panicked, attempting to flee anyway.

"Hey, Osse, it doesn't look like I'm bound by your rules anymore. I thought about killing him, just now, and my head didn't try to fly off!"

'_I'm… FREE!'_

Tobei laughed, long and hard, and didn't even hesitate to leap when he saw that Sena was about to make his getaway. "Now that I'm not bound by the rules of hell, I'm free… Free to do whatever the fuck I want, to take nobody's orders but my own! Free to beat the living shit out of you, you manipulative son of a bitch!"

Sena never stood a chance in the first place, not without his Toga. He was powerless to stop the beating that ensued, and he was terrified of everything by the time that the police got to him. Once down at the station, he confessed to everything he'd ever done—including the murder of Inspector Asagui that had taken place ten years ago. When Inspector Sawazaki heard that the man who killed his chief had been caught, the very first thing he did was call Itsuki's grandfather's house.

"Yes… It seems Tobei found him, and—as much as I hate the method, it's certainly something I'd have done—beat the truth out of him with that wooden sword he carries around. This time, he actually stuck around to tell me so himself…"

Sawazaki was the only one Tobei had told about the power of darkness, about the truth of his sword. Well… The only one that wasn't insane with guilt by this point. Sena was in no condition to do anything, and never would again. So, as Sawazaki talked on, he nearly let it slip; had Tobei not glared at him with _those_ eyes, he might have done it.

"You should tell them, you know." Sawazaki said after hanging up. "Go home to them, tell them everything—even your past. They deserve to know, far more than I… And what you said to me, more than a month ago, finally makes sense. The one about how, three hundred years ago, you would've struck me down without thought."

"Does it, then?" Tobei questioned without intent. "You seem rather calm, knowing that I'm a mass murderer who's tried to redeem himself in the eyes of a power you don't believe in. Is it because I brought down the one who killed your sempai?"

"…" Sawazaki didn't answer for several seconds. "It's not just that. It's the way you act around Itsuki, and children—you may be a hardened criminal, and I can see that you obviously are whenever you get serious, but you have a soft spot for those two groups of people. You've saved the lives of at least five people. And I'm sure that the hundred and eight 'Toga' you destroyed would have caused a lot more damage than you realize… For someone whose weapon relies on the power of evil in its user, you certainly have an odd way of using it."

"Well, I don't really need it for its original purpose anymore. I'm free, and I'm back, and I don't care what they try to do to take me to heaven or hell—this may not be my time period, but I've found people who care about me here. And, even more, I've found people I care about beyond hating them. Those people from heaven and hell can try with all their might to take me back, to take me away…"

There it was again, the dangerous gleam, the look that spoke of countless victories.

"**You can be DAMN sure that I'll never go back, not so long as a single second of life is left in my body."**

"I'm glad for that. I wonder what Itsuki would do without you?"

"Hey, mister, that brings up something I wanted to ask you. When I was fighting Sena, the Togari stopped working through my hate. I thought of Itsuki, and a red power—that wasn't anger—took hold of the Togari. I don't know if you'll be able to help me, but… What was that?"

Sawazaki laughed. "You really are just a teenage boy from the Edo period. That's something I'd never have expected of you, Tobei, to feel love instead of hate."

"… Luff? What's—"

"Love is… I don't really know how to explain it well. But I guess the simplest way to say it would be that you feel a certain way about someone, in a way that makes you feel warm inside. Yes, I think that would be how I'd say it."

"And what do you do when you feel… Love?"

"It takes many shapes and sizes: pity, compassion, lust, care, and even hatred is a form of love, if you feel strongly enough. Who would have thought that you could have done it, feeling love and using it to break away from hell?"

Tobei smiled, scratching the back of his head with the hand that didn't hold the Togari. "Thanks, old man Sawazaki. I guess you're not such a bad guy after all."

With that, he left.

_**LOTD LOTD LOTD  
**_

He opened the door, and began his usual returning mantra: "Hey, I'm… Oof!"

Itsuki had gotten him in a flying tackle, and—while his first instinct was to try killing her, as he had been attacked—he didn't resist. As they fell, she moved herself so that their lips met. And, while Tobei didn't completely understand the gesture, he felt the warm red power bubbling inside of him; he wrapped his arms around her, and began to kiss back. Even the pain from the fall was nothing compared to that feeling he'd just received, and that was when he knew something for certain: he felt 'love' towards Itsuki Asagui, and she felt 'love' for him.

They broke apart, at her movement, and she stood. "Sawazaki told us what happened… You found the one who killed my dad! I'm… So…"

She began to cry, at long last, from all those years of tears that went unshed. "I'm happy, but I'm crying…" She gasped for breath, clutching his shirt tight enough that she was pulling his skin and digging her nails through the clothes. "You must think I'm so weak right now, Tobei…"

"No." He responded, wrapping an arm around her so that she could cry into his shirt. "There's a difference between tears of sadness and happiness. Even I know that… And there's something I need to tell you. Do you remember where we first met, when I first appeared? It wasn't too far from here, actually, and it's probably better that I tell my story there."

"Ah… Okay!" It was obviously important to him, she knew, or else he wouldn't care enough to not say it in front of her mother and grandfather. _'Maybe he's going to… No, this is Tobei we're talking about, there's no way he'd actually say that. Get a grip, girl! This is real life, not some magic fairy-tale world!'_

They got in the abandoned warehouse after about ten minutes of walking, and it was now eerily clean of blood and victims. Not that it was better before, in Itsuki's mind, but still…

"What did you want to tell me about? Specifically, what do you need to tell me that can't be said in front of my mother or grandfather?"

Tobei sighed, leaning back, putting his hands behind his head and placing Togari on the ground. "I'm going to tell you about my past. And I swear to whatever you want to believe in, it's the absolute truth, okay?"

"Okay."

"You already know a few things about me, like being an orphan and growing up on the streets. But there's still a lot that you don't know, and—since you're one of the few people on earth I don't hate—I feel like you need to know the truth: three hundred years ago, right at that very spot, I was executed for mass murder. I'm Tobei, but even that is just a name I stole from an Edo-era nobleman who tried to kill me—I have no real name, at least not one that I know of. I'm a thief and a killer, a monster who spent three centuries in hell where the demons tried to break me and make me repent… But you know me, I can't be tamed.

"I was given a chance to escape from hell, to free myself, by taking the sword Togari and using it to slay a hundred and eight manifested sins, called 'Toga' in a hundred and eight days. If I let my evil come forward, I would have been sucked into Togari or my head would have fallen off—there was also the chance that I would die in battle, since I lost my immortality when I came back from hell. But along the way, I… I changed. Things happened that I couldn't have expected, like meeting you. And just now, during the final battle with Sena, who killed your father with the same darkness that I had within me… I lost that power, I lost my evil and my darkness. I couldn't fight back for a few minutes, and I couldn't regain the darkness I lost. My first response was to drag on with sheer will, and that worked enough for me to fight back, but I couldn't destroy it. And then I felt a red power, one that wasn't anger, go through my body; I thought of you, and I was suddenly able to destroy the Toga with more force than Togari ever had.

"Later, at the police station, I asked that Sawazaki man about the red power, since he already knows all of this… And he wanted to laugh. He told me he hadn't expected me to feel the emotion that gave rise to the power that allowed me to destroy with such ease, and he even described what it might feel like—what I feel like around certain people, and one in particular. I found out that when I thought about that person, who meant so much to me, I was able to call on the strength of a thousand men on a whim. That power that I used, and that person… It was my love for you, Itsuki, that let me destroy the final Toga and free myself from hell. For the first time ever, with you, I feel something that's not only non-negative, but not neutral either. I love you, and if what happened when you tackled me was any indication, you love me too."

"You… You actually said it out loud…" She was beginning to tear up, and had apparently ignored his entire speech about his past and redemption.

"Said what?"

"That you love me… I never thought you would."

Tobei simply stared blankly at her, and he discovered his second truth of the day: women are mysterious creatures, beings that he would never understand in any world he went to. "What about it? I feel love for you, so I told you the truth. Did I do something wrong?"

"No… I just…" She began crying. "I wasn't sure if you felt the same as me, since you're such a strange person! But I told you I wasn't afraid of you, and knowing your past won't change that for me!"

He smiled. "That's a relief. Now… What were we doing, when you tackled me?"

She smirked, and leaned in. "It's called a kiss."

Her lips touched his, and the kiss was much more tender this time between the two of them. She pulled in closer to him, and he put an arm behind both her back and her head for support. They were lost in their own little world of love, but the reformed Tobei was still never further than an arm's reach of the Togari.

'_Let them come then, all of them! I'll use my power, the one thing that they can't understand or control, and I'll protect that which is precious to me!'_

_**LOTD LOTD LOTD**_

Legend tells of a demon who wanted to become human, and tried to do this by killing them and eating their hearts. He met a man one day, one who told him that his quest for humanity was a futile one. "You cannot become a human by eating the hearts of humans."

When the demon asked the man how to become a human, the man had no reply. "Being a human is all I've ever known. I don't know how you would become human, since you are a demon. But I also believe that, with the right tool, anything is possible." The demon thanked him for his reply, and spared the man's life in an exchange for the offered wisdom.

Along the way to find a tool with which he might become human, the demon was found by a group of humans who were afraid of him. They did not know that he had become a peaceful wanderer, no longer a soldier of death and destruction, and so they bound him. They caged him as well, and he was dragged throughout the land to show all of the people that the demon had been caught. They brought him to be executed, at which point the wise man from the demon's past appeared and tried to tell the gathered men and women to stop.

"Do not do this!" He had yelled. "He is merely trying to become human, attempting to become one of us! Treat him as you would treat me, or your own family!"

But the crowd did not listen. They took him from his cage, and released his bindings, and held him down to be executed. The demon shook them off, but did not move his head from the block. He calmly looked at the wise man, whose wife and lone child were also there, and told him this: "It is alright, wise man. I have discovered what it means to become human, and I would like to think that it means I have become one of you. I know that humans all have two names, a first and a clan name, but I have no clan. I discovered that what makes a person a human is that they have emotional strength, and the willpower to carry on despite all odds. To that end, I have tried to do the same."

As the executioner's sword fell, and the crowd watched in glee, the wise man looked right into the demon's eyes and declared, "If you have no clan name, then take my own: Asagui. What does that make your name?"

The demon smiled then, a true smile of genuine happiness. "My name is… Tobei. I am Asagui Tobei, and I swear to you that I will one day return to repay my eternal debt to you."

As the sword began to cut into his flesh, the demon felt nothing. He was Asagui Tobei, Tobei Asagui in the modern manner of speech, and that was good enough for him. He had promised the old man that he, who would die here like a dog and descend into the deepest pits of hell, would escape from his eternal prison and return the favor of discovering his humanity.

Itsuki's grandfather paused in the reading of the ancient legend, the true tale of what had happened in the story of the demon who wished to become a human; he then picked up a brush, and began to write the legend's continuation.

Three hundred years later, the demon had all but forgotten of the wise man whose clan name he had taken—indeed, he had forgotten the clan name that had been given to him right before his death. All that he remembered was his first name, the name that had spread fear into the hearts of men before he had attempted to redeem himself. He appeared as the demon he had been, fearsome and unclothed, and had saved a girl from a dire fate; this girl was Itsuki Asagui, and Tobei had unconsciously begun to fulfill the vow he had declared eternal. He saved her life many more times after that, and perhaps even managed to save the world with his actions.

The man was not blind to what had gone on with Tobei, and had known almost from the outset; few people could have received one of his martial arts kicks and had virtually no movement, and being blown back two meters counted close enough to that mark. Someone with that power, and that expression… Tobei, when angered, posessed the eyes of a manslayer, a madman, a demon. He even fought like one, if what he'd secretly seen of the boy's battles was anything to go by.

He never realized that the bond he shared with the Asagui family went far deeper than merely a repayment of debt. His life, now returned to him after he climbed out of hell, was his own once more. And, this time, he had become a human. His name was Tobei Asagui, though it was Asagui Tobei in the style of old; he had gained the heart of emotion, and the will to persevere, necessary to become a human. So ends the tale of the demon who wished to become human, and it is one of the few true stories that ends in success… So ends the tale of Tobei, the demon who became a man.


End file.
